In a journal prompt I became interested in the concept/idea of an internal map. I have since worked on three pages. I have only made sense of a small corner of one of the collages. I feel at times I live in old bones and colorless daffodils taller than myself. I am a child wandering through this strange magical land without direction. I am wrapped tightly in a dark, woolen snow suit and the weather is always harsh. In that lower terrain of the physical landscape I often trip over the bones, sand and snow. For now, I cannot figure out it’s meaning.
I know I live in Autumn and it’s rich colors of the season – leaves of many colors fall all through the day. The sky is overcast and intensifies the Autumn colors. Vines of intertwined flowers collect on my head and seem to grow. As I continue on this journey, through these imaginary maps, meanings I am certain will come through.
Some paintings/artwork come with the idea of improving oneself or the aspects of accomplishments in the past present and future. This happens to be one of them with symbols, animal totems, and certain words representing one’s plight are sometimes hidden the background of the painting. I find I journal first, sometimes with each item mentioned or I write an entry of thoughts and feelings and then paint over it. It is how I start each spread.
Mapping highlights and shadows in a drawing as in life. Do you have a reference for life? Someone as a guide. The answers could be in mid-tones. Should one blend all the layers? Is there a fourth tone. So many questions. Blend all. Find the shadows, the mid-tones and lights. Draw a map. Draw a raven if even in your mind. Trace around the shadows with words or pencil. Leave some of your life in a collage, let it peak through. Most is transparent. Some is secretly lingering in the past of one of the dark tones. The missing flower I don’t understand, why? I hear the ravens song, I smell the damp earth and touch the trees …
The sad strings of the violin can be heard somewhere close by as the smell of burning oak. A soft warm fire keeps her warm on this late Spring evening. She saw the raven early this morning and found him powerful, assertive, confident. She remembers wiping a single tear from her cheek. She wishes for something from the past …
I can see this young girl both gentle and strong as many of the definitions of ~spirited~ imply. She loves to learn, all subjects interest her and yet she has her own direction to pursue. I can tell she spends most of her time alone, enjoying the company of herself. She dreams of a gypsy life, wearing flowing dresses in bright colors, silky scarves cover her head. Her bracelets make a sweet tinkering sound as she weaves flowers into a hanging bouquet. Aging will not intimidate her – she looks forward to graying hair, her memories are cherished as the freedom she has come to embrace.
“I am a free spirit. A spirit that evolves. I’m a diamond. I’m just refining it. Polishing it. Glossing it up.” ~ Simeon Rice
The antlers in the watercolor painting symbolize for me a crown a spiritual regeneration. The deer symbolizes agility, and speed yet has a gentleness connected to a female person. In dreams the deer can symbolize a loved one messaging you from the afterlife. The deer spirit animal asks one to trust their instincts and take care of the inner child.